Tantrums in Toddlers: How to Find and Keep the Peace

Tantrums are part of everyday life. Here’s how to react to tantrums and what you can do to avoid them.

You go shopping with your child in a store. He or she covets a treat that you have no intention of buying. Suddenly you are in the middle of a tantrum.
What is the best answer? Why do these emotional crises occur? Can you warn them? Here are some tips to avoid temper tantrums.

Why do temper tantrums happen?

A tantrum is an expression of a young child’s frustration at their limitations or their anger at not being able to get what they want. Your child may be having trouble understanding something or completing a task. Maybe your child doesn’t have the words to express his feelings. Frustration can trigger a tantrum, which results in a tantrum.

If your child is tired, hungry, or feeling bad, their frustration threshold will likely be lower and their anger more likely.

Do young children throw tantrums on purpose?

Young children do not intend to frustrate or embarrass their parents. For most toddlers, tantrums are a way of expressing frustration. For older children, tantrums can be a learned behavior. If you reward tantrums with something your child wants, or allow them to get away with having a tantrum, the tantrums are likely to continue.

Can temper tantrums be prevented?

There may not be a surefire way to prevent temper tantrums, but there’s a lot you can do to encourage good behavior, even in the youngest children.

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For example, it is possible to encourage good behavior in children, even the youngest ones:

Be consistent

Establish a daily routine so your child knows what to expect. Stick to the routine as much as possible, including nap and bedtime. A child’s temper can become short if he doesn’t get enough rest or quiet time.

Plan ahead

Do your shopping when your child is not likely to be hungry or tired. If you plan to wait in line, prepare a small toy or snack to occupy your child.

Let your child make the appropriate choices

Avoid saying no to everything. To give your child a sense of control, let them make choices. “Do you want to wear your red shirt or your blue shirt?” “Would you like to eat strawberries or bananas?” “Would you like to read a book or build a tower with your blocks?” »

Congratulations on your good behavior

Offer extra attention when your child is well behaved. Embrace your child or tell them how proud you are when they share or follow directions.

Avoid situations that may trigger tantrums

Don’t give your child toys that are way too advanced for him. If your child begs you to give him toys or treats when you go shopping, avoid places where these temptations arise.

What’s the best way to respond to a tantrum?

In general, the best way to react to a tantrum is to remain calm. If you respond with loud outbursts of anger, your child may imitate your behavior. Yelling at a child to calm down can also make the situation worse.

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Instead, try to distract your child. A different book, a change of location, or a grimace can help. If you’ve asked your child to do something against their will, offer to help. Have you asked your child not to play in a certain place? Remember to show him where he can play.

If your child hits or kicks someone or tries to run down the street, stop their behavior by holding them back until they calm down.
When your child calms down, calmly explain your rules.

What happens if my child becomes destructive or dangerous?

If a temper tantrum escalates, remove your child from the situation and apply a Time Out:

Choose an exit location

Have your child sit somewhere boring, such as on a chair in the living room or on the floor in the hallway. Wait for your child to calm down. Consider giving one minute of time out for each year of your child’s age.

Stick to it

If your child starts wandering before the time out ends, bring them back to the designated time out location. Don’t respond to what your child says during the downtime.

Know when to end timeout

When your child has calmed down, briefly discuss the reason for the timeout and why his behavior was inappropriate. Then, resume your usual activities.

Don’t overuse timeouts or they won’t work.

When do you need professional help?

As your child’s self-control improves, tantrums should become less frequent. Most children start having fewer temper tantrums at age 3½. If your child hurts himself or others, holds his breath during his seizures until he faints, or if his seizures get worse after age 4, talk to your doctor about your concerns. your child. The doctor might look at physical or psychological issues that might be contributing to the tantrums.

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